


Coping Method

by Akan_Abrun



Category: Star Trek
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluffy, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Illness, Mind Meld, Vulcan, Vulcan Kiss
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-03
Updated: 2017-01-10
Packaged: 2018-08-28 18:37:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8457880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akan_Abrun/pseuds/Akan_Abrun
Summary: Vulcan Starfleet Officer Savik isn't so sure at first about his First Officer Treev Parker. But he soon learns that Treev deals with something very dangerous every day: anxiety. In order to soothe his nerves during a mission, Savik uses his touch telepathy on Treev. It then becomes routine for the both of them to meet after each stressful mission so that Treev can be relieved of his intense anxieties. This blooms into a strong love between them.(This fic contains my own characters, but in the Star Trek universe.)





	1. Introduction

Savik had been captain of the USS Andra for two years. It had been the most fascinating two years of his entire life. As soon as he set upon his first mission as Chief of Engineering under Captain Kelly three years ago, he knew that he one day would become a captain himself. He flew above his station in under a year, and then received his very own ship. Very few gained their captaincy so fast (with exception to the esteemed Captain James T. Kirk, may he rest on peacefully), but Savik had fierce determination.

In those two years (he had actually kept a record in a separate set of logs) he had saved 253 of his crew mates' lives, he prevented the destruction of 79 planets, he reconciled 137 warring civilizations, and saved 2073 civilizations from disease and/or starvation. Savik had found two loopholes to the Prime Directive, completely restructured many of the ship's components, and created 97 cures for previously incurable diseases. Savik was, as his human companions would say, "on a roll."

The only negative thing to have happened was that his First Officer (and Chief Helm Officer) resigned 2.537 months ago. She had always enthused about every mission she was assigned to, and Savik had never seen her in any sort of poor emotional state. One day, she just resigned and left to the nearest Starbase. She only sent Savik a message weeks later telling him that she had received an opportunity to do an archeological study somewhere in the Beta Quadrant, and it was a "once in a lifetime chance." In the end, Savik could only respect her decision.

He knew almost nothing about his new First Officer, though. He was assigned to the USS Andra by Starfleet, making it so that Savik could not promote any of his own officers. The only knowledge that he had about Treev Parker was the information on his file: Chief Helm Officer; born in the USA; literate in English, Klingon, and Ferengi; 172.72 centimeters tall; caucasian, blond hair, brown eyes... All of this meant very little to Savik, although his literacy in three different languages was useful.

The one striking thing that Savik had noticed about Mr. Parker was that even though he was quite friendly, he kept mostly to himself. In fact, Savik realized, it was that same morning that he had seen Mr. Parker sitting alone for dinner in the mess hall. Savik hadn't considered joining him, since he himself ate most of his meals alone.

"Captain, we are being hailed by Starfleet." The Chief of Communications, Kria, informed Savik. It pulled him out of his thoughts, although his mind still lingered on the subject of the man sitting at the helm station before him.

"On screen, Lieutenant." Savik ordered, and Admiral Moone's face appeared on the screen.

"Captain Savik! How are you?" Moone beamed, and Savik blinked at him.

"I am... well. Do we have priority orders from Starfleet?" He asked, wanting to get straight to the point. He did not quite understand other species' desires for small talk.

"Yes, actually. We need you to investigate a certain area where many Federation ships have gone missing without explanation. I'll send you the coordinates." Moone said, his previously chipper mood all but vanished. "Be cautious while looking into this. At the first sign of a trouble, it is advisable that you leave. It is possible that any threat you might face will be very dangerous."

Savik nodded at the man, saying, "Thank you for the forewarning, Admiral. We will proceed with caution."

"Good. I'll be counting on a message from you soon with a report. Don't disappoint me. Admiral Moone out." The image disappeared to reveal the space before them.

"I'm relaying the coordinates to you, Parker." Lieutenant Kria said, and Parker nodded.

"Commander, lay in a course." Savik ordered.

"Done, Captain." Parker replied with another nod.

"Engage."

\--  
They happened upon an empty ship, floating in space. It was a Federation ship, no less. Savik was weighing his options, but he had already decided that a landing party needed to investigate.

"Yeah, I'm not seeing any life forms anywhere..." Jap told him, which only concreted his decision for a visit to the ship.

"Kria, inform those on the rosters for the next away team to meet me in the transporter room in ten minutes. Parker, you will be joining us." Savik ordered, and Kria went to work while Parker jumped up and joined him on the turbo lift. Savik glanced over at the man, but his face was as easy to read as a brick wall. He didn't look particularly unhappy, but he was not excited either. Maybe not all humans were as emotional as Savik had thought.

As they suited up, something caught Savik's eye as he glanced at Parker once again. He thought that he'd seen-

"We're not being led to our deaths, are we?" An ensign asked him, interrupting his thoughts.

"I cannot predict the future." Savik stated, not telling the ensign of his calculations of the odds that they would be in danger very soon. He noticed that many would rather be ignorant of negative facts than to know them.

They beamed aboard the ship, flashlights and phasers in hands. The ship was structured much like the Andra, so the party was somewhat familiar with it. "Split into pairs and try to find any sign of what may have caused the crew to disappear." Savik ordered, and the others nodded and paired up. "Parker, with me." He added before Parker could pair with somebody else. The two of them walked steadily down a corridor, away from the others, Savik lighting the way with his flashlight.

"Is there a reason as to why you wanted me paired with you, Sir?" Parker asked quietly, walking somewhat behind Savik instead of next to him.

"It is important that we become familiar with each other if you are going to be my First Officer." Savik explained, leaving out the part that he actually wanted to get to know Parker.

"Makes sense." Parker replied, and Savik could hear a slight accent in the man's speech, although he couldn't place it. He wasn't quite familiar with the different regions of Earth and their respective accents. "Hey, if you don't mind me prying, I always kind of wondered why you don't look quite like the traditional Vulcan. At first I thought that you might'a been... what is it... V'tosh ka'tur? But I can tell by the way you act that you're not."

"What am I 'supposed' to look like, then?" Savik asked before he could think about what he was saying. Did he just... joke? Was that a playful thing to say? Surely not; it was a viable question in response to Parker's observations about him.

"Well, Vulcans usually have black hair that's in that weird bowl cut." Parker explained, walking faster to be next to Savik. "You have dark red hair, and it's styled more like a human's. If you don't mind my saying so."

"My ancestors were from a different part of Vulcan than most. We were the last to be informed of the teachings of Surak. My hair is merely a difference in lineage and culture from many other Vulcanian regions. I-" Savik stopped suddenly when he saw a dark form run across the hall several meters in front of them. "There is someone here." Savik said quietly, hurrying forward to try and catch the person. Parker followed quickly behind him.

"Kroiha!" Savik heard the frantic voice before he rounded the corner, and he held his phaser up and ready to fire. He turned the corner, but someone tackled him before he could pull the trigger. He grunted, trying to push the man off of him. Savik managed to grab his phaser and fire it at the man, who immediately went limp on top of him. He pushed the man off him, looking up at Parker, who was shakily pointing a phaser at him.

"Next time," Savik said sternly, standing up and looking him in the eye, "pull the trigger." Parker swallowed and nodded, putting the phaser down.

"I... I'm sorry..." Parker said quietly, but Savik didn't answer. He knew he wasn't imagining it earlier as they were suiting up for the mission: Parker had shaken. He had quivered. He was agitated. Savik wanted to mention how agitation can get people killed. Apprehension can get people killed. But Savik didn't let these thoughts perturb him. He would confront Parker later about the subject.

Savik tried using his communicator to warn the others of the possibility of more aliens aboard the ship, but communications were down for some reason. "Communications are down." He said, putting away his communicator. He looked down at the man who had tackled him, seeing that it was a Romulan. In this side of the quadrant?

The Romulan Empire and the Federation had made their peace long ago with encouragement from Ambassador Spock, but the Romulans still stayed away from Federation Space most of the time... If Romulans were responsible for the disappearances of the other starships, then this could ultimately break every ordinance of the peace treaty. There had to be another explanation. The Romulan Empire relied on the Federation for resources and medicine; it would be illogical to dissipate the peace between them.

"Kroiha!" A woman's voice rung out at the end of the corridor. Parker raised his phaser to shoot, but Savik held up his hand to stop him.

"Wait." Savik ordered, walking towards the woman, who looked scared. He took out his universal translator, switching it to work with Rihan. (He personally had never endeavored to learn the language.)

"Are you here to help us?" The woman asked, coming to stand only two meters before them.

"Yes." Savik replied, even though he was not yet aware of what he was to be helping with.

"I apologize for my brother's assault on you. He thought that you were one of them." The woman said with a shiver.

"One of 'them'? Who?" Parker asked, stepping closer. The woman looked at him, frightened.

"There was a genetic disease that broke out amongst Romulans that carry the mutated gene D17. It causes them to become quite... feral." The woman said as she began walking in the opposite direction. Savik and Parker followed her. "It progresses slowly. Our captain was infected with the gene, and he attacked one of your Federation ships without warning. We were unable to stop him, as he threw those who retaliated into the brig. After he destroyed more ships, we were able to escape to this ship, since it was the least damaged."

"Why couldn't we detect your life signals?" Savik asked, genuinely curious.

"We have very skilled people aboard; they were able to use the leftover equipment from the ship to create a device that would block our signals. We did not want to our captain to know that we were here." The woman explained, and they entered a large room full of other Romulans.

"Do you know where your captain is now?" Savik asked, but the woman shook her head.

"Should be dead!" Said a man who appeared next to the woman, wrapping an arm around her and holding his hand out in greeting. "My names Lund. Hopefully Noma here didn't give you too much trouble. Oh, right, you're a Vulcan. Sorry." Lund withdrew his hand, and instead held it up to offer the ta'al. Savik returned the gesture.

"There was no trouble." Savik replied, leaving out the incident with Noma's brother. "Why do you infer upon the death of your captain?" He asked.

"The disease usually makes the person get so psychotically violent that they eventually die from the overload of adrenaline their bodies produce. I'm sure Jon over there could offer more information on the disease. I'm just an engineer!" Lund smiled, patting Noma's shoulder. He obviously seemed quite unaffected by the state that they were all in. "Oh! You might be wanting to contact your ship. We can open up a channel between you guys."

"That would be nice." Parker said, and Lund walked off to a group of other people, presumably to configure the communications.

"I'm sorry for his strong attitude. He is having a difficult time coping with the loss of our captain, despite his bluntness earlier." Noma said, wrapping her arms around herself.

"Hey!" Lund shouted from across the room. "We've opened up a channel for you guys! Go ahead!" Savik took out his communicator.

"Contact the others in the party. I'll contact the Andra." Savik told Parker, who nodded. "Savik to Andra."

"Andra here, Captain! We've been trying to reach you!" Kria's voice appeared over the communicator. "Are you guys alright?" Savik turned to Parker, who was in conversation on his own communicator. He nodded to Savik.

"Yes, we are all safe. Prepare the transporter room and stand by for beam up." Savik put away his comm. and turned to Noma. "May we speak with your leader?"

"Yes. I'll go get her." Noma said with a nod, and walked away. Parker turned towards him.

"Hey, why do some of these people have strange paintings on their faces?" He asked, nodding his head at a group of people with intricate black paintings on their skin.

"It is a Romulan tradition to, when a loved one dies, paint their grief upon their skin." Savik explained. "As the paint fades, as does their grief." Parker nodded, looking solemn.

"Do Vulcans do that?" He asked, and Savik shook his head.

"Vulcans tend to be less... expressive." Savik said as Noma was returning, accompanied by a smaller woman. She offered him the ta'al.

"Greetings, Captain Savik. My name is N'alae." She said with a polite smile. "Noma and Lund told me of you."

"Yes, we are here to offer assistance." Savik told N'alae, getting straight to the point. Parker glanced at him inquisitively, but said nothing. "Would you be willing to have your people board our ship? We have many facilities that may please you. We may also be able to discover a treatment for the mutated D17 gene."

"That would be wonderful. I was beginning to think that Starfleet had thrown us to the wolves! I'll go get everyone prepared for beam up." N'alae said, clapping her hands together before walking off.

"'Thrown us to the wolves'?" Savik asked, turning to Parker. The metaphors of language still confused him sometimes.

"It means that they thought Starfleet left them to fend off the threat by themselves." Parker answered, and Savik nodded.

Interesting.

\---

Savik was eating salad in his quarters when his comm. sounded. "Savik here."

"Captain, we believe we may have developed a sort of treatment for this Romulan ailment. Would ya mind meeting me in Sickbay?" The ship's doctor, Carson, requested. His accent was very thick, and Savik believed that many humans considered it to be "Irish."

"I will be down shortly." Savik replied, standing and disposing of his salad. He was somewhat impressed that the medical officers found a treatment after only 10.925 hours of having learned of the illness. If he were human, then he might have felt pride for his crew.

When he arrived at Sickbay, he walked over to the group huddled over the table. "And you're certain that this won't have any psychological side effects on those affected?" N'alae asked, and Carson shook his head.

"It may induce a tiny bit of fatigue, and maybe some nausea, but it won't hurt their brains." Carson said (elegantly), turning to Savik's direction. "Ah, Savik! Take a look!" Carson handed Savik a PADD that showed the medicine and its chemical structure. He looked over it carefully. "It was actually quite simple. All it took was a DNA sample from someone carryin' the mutated gene, and the solution stuck itself out like a sore thumb!"

"You did a very good job." Savik complimented the doctor, trying not to think about what a sore thumb had to do with any of this.

"Nah, it's not a cure or anythin'. Just a little treatment to make it so that they don't get so crazy. We're lucky to have had access to his blood like that. Whoever stabbed him with that knife got in there REAL deep." Carson laughed cynically.

"Yes, there were many who were forced to fight for their lives due to my captain's actions." N'alae said bluntly, which made Carson become quiet. N'alae turned to Savik. "Thank you very much for helping us. It is fortunate that we have not run into any danger here."

"It is indeed." Savik replied, setting the PADD down. "We can transport you to Romulus to begin distributing this treatment." He said, thinking. It would only take 2.912 days to get to Romulus... not enough time to create a cure.

"That would be fantastic." N'alae said with a smile. "Our people will begin creating the cure upon arrival. With this treatment and the fresh DNA samples, the mutation should not plague our people much longer."


	2. Why anxiety

N'alae contacted Savik weeks later telling him of their progress in creating a cure for the mutation. He would have made the cure himself, but he would rather the affected species do so for themselves instead. He did not enjoy 'playing God,' as many of his colleagues accuse him of doing.

At present, though, the Andra was at war with another ship. The Andra was also in critical condition, as a matter of fact. "Starfleet's not answering us, Captain!" Kria said over the blaring Red Alert, her purple eyes opened wide, and her pink hands flying over the buttons at her station. Savik nodded.

"Keep trying. Jap, fire torpedoes." Savik ordered.

"Aye Captain!" They both responded readily. As soon as the torpedoes fired, they were hit, and everyone had to hold tightly to their seats.

"Report!" Savik demanded, and Jap turned to look at him.

"Hull is at 23%, Captain... we can't take much more, and our warp drive is down so we can't flee." Jap reported, and Savik nodded again. The odds in their favor were getting slimmer and slimmer each passing moment.

"Communications are inoperative, Captain!" Kria exclaimed, turning to him. Savik nodded once more. What could he do? The enemy ship was hardly damaged by their weapons, no matter how enhanced they were or in whichever strategic order they were fired. They could not flee on impulse power alone. Their shields were down. Communications were down, and Starfleet never responded in the first place. How reliable they often were.

"Try to get Communications back online. Jap, keep firing. Parker, give me status reports as soon as anything changes." Savik calmly laid out his orders, speaking loudly over the Red Alert. "Engineering, report." Savik spoke to the comm. on the Captain's Chair, but there was no response. "Kria?" Savik turned to her, and she was working rapidly at her station.

"Ship-wide communications also down, Captain!" She replied, and Savik clenched his jaw. He opened his mouth to speak, but they were hit again, the whole ship shaking.

"Hull at 17%, Captain!" Parker reported, and Jap turned to face him.

"Weapons now inoperative, Captain." He said, his tone solemn. Savik glanced at Parker, who looked very stiff. Something seemed... off with him. 

But this was not the time to be thinking of that. They were all about to meet their end, and everyone knew this. Was this the one mission that finally ended the Andra? The one enemy that finally ended Savik? After all of those greater threats, wars, poisons, diseases... This was where his life was to end? He took one last glance at the crew. They had all served valiantly beside him. They would be commended in death.

Savik once more opened his mouth, this time to inform the crew that it had been an honor to serve with them, but he was interrupted by the appearance of three Federation starships between the Andra and the enemy ship. He felt a small spark relief ignite within him, too strong of a feeling to be suppressed inside his mind.

Within moments the enemy ship was destroyed, the explosion rocking the ships. Everyone (save for Savik) exhaled a breath of relief. Jap began to smile. "Good work, everyone." Savik said after he turned off the Red Alert. Two ensigns exited the turbolift behind them, walking to Kria's station to make repairs. "When communications are repaired, tell the captains of the other ships that we need engineers to help with the rest of the repairs. Parker and I will be waiting in the transporter room for them. Jap, you have the conn." Savik ordered, standing up. Parker stood stiffly and followed him into the turbolift. Savik glanced over at his First. The man was shaking, staring at the space before him as if he was not conscious of the outer world. Savik stopped the turbolift.

"Please, continue. Let's get back to work." Parker said monotonously. Savik moved to stand in front of the man so that their eyes could meet.

"Are you equipped to carry out your duties today?" Savik asked, and Parker's eyes teared up. He noticed that the man wasn't breathing, either. Just... holding his breath.

"I..." He began to answer Savik, but he let out his breath instead. He tried to breathe in deeply, but he choked on air and fell back to lean against the wall of the turbolift, breathing quickly.

"You must calm yourself." Savik said, but Parker shook his head. Was that disobedience?

"I can't. I can't." Parker shook his head, sliding down to sit on the floor. He sat there, hyperventilating. Savik crouched down next to him. "I can't. I can't- I... once it gets... this bad..." Parker coughed and tried holding his breath, but none of these methods seemed to work. Savik reached his hand out, putting it on Parker's face and cupping his cheek.

"Breathe." Savik demanded, linking their minds and transmitting calmness to the other man. Parker's heart rate slowed, his breathing settled, and he visually relaxed. Savik pulled his hand away, and Parker blinked at him. "We still have work to do." He said, and Parker nodded. He stood up, grabbing Parker's arm and helping him up.

"Thank you... what was that?" Parker asked as the turbolift began moving again.

"Vulcans are touch telepaths. We can sense and transmit sensations and emotions through contact." Savik answered, and the doors opened. They walked out into the hall, side by side.

"That's... amazing." Parker commended, but Savik couldn't answer that. He didn't think that his biological capabilities were extraordinarily awesome. Interesting, perhaps, but not 'amazing.'

-

The other three ships beamed their best engineers aboard the Andra to make fast repairs. They also beamed medical officers aboard to assist with the newly injured crew. Savik oversaw Engineering directly, helping to repair the more intricate complex pieces of equipment. Parker assisted where he could, with steady hands and an optimistic attitude.

Then Savik learned something else about his First Officer. After hours of long conversations amongst the engineers, many of them were often laughing hard at Parker's jokes. According to Ensign Nue, Parker had 'a great sense of humor.'

\--

Savik chimed the door to Parker's quarters. "Come in!" He heard the other man say, so he entered the room. Savik didn't know what he expected Parker's quarters to look like... but he knew that he did not expect the man to have so many alien relics. He was momentarily speechless due to the intense interest in each item.

"Can I... help you?" Parker asked, and Savik finally looked at him. He was at the table, drinking a hot beverage. Savik sat across from him.

"You must see the doctor for your anxiety." Savik demanded, and Parker looked taken aback.

"Uh... I have. It's not like I haven't tried things to manage it. I meditate at night, take medication in the morning, I drink tea, exercise... Nothing helps except for staying completely distracted. Which is why I'm fine during work." Parker explained, and Savik didn't understand why he still had such severe anxiety if he really did do all of those things. Of course, he still didn't understand many human emotions.

"However, there was the time when a threat appeared and you neglected to take your shot. Hesitation can kill as easily as action can." Savik said sternly, and Parker nodded.

"I know. I just... I was really afraid of shooting you instead, and my mind wouldn't shut up about it." Parker said, chuckling. Savik did not see the humor in the situation, nor did he know how a mind could 'shut up.'

"If there is a chance that something will save someone's life, then do it- even if there's a chance that it might harm them. In most situations, injury is a better option than death." Savik told him, and he nodded again.

"I understand. Sir."

"You don't need to use titles with me while off duty." Savik said before he processed what he was saying. If he felt regret, then he would be overcome by it. It was a massively illogical, unprofessional, inappropriate and casual thing to say.

"Okay... Savik." Parker replied quietly, and all of Savik's negative thoughts washed away with the sound of his name. He suddenly felt quite... different. He stood from the table.

"I will take my leave now." Savik said, nodding once and walking towards the door.

"Hey," Parker said, stopping him in his tracks. "Thank you." Savik turned his head to look at Parker, and nodded once again.

Savik went straight to his quarters and meditated for two more hours than usual that night.

\---

Once the Andra was running proficiently again, Savik thanked all of the volunteers and had them beamed to their respective ships. After thanking the captains and reporting to Starfleet, they were off on their next mission.

This mission was more of a simple, scientific task than a dangerous escapade, much to the relief of the crew. "It'll be like shore leave!" Jap said excitedly.

"It is a task to be carried out by the landing party, which you are not a member of." Savik replied bluntly before turning his attention to his First Officer. "Parker. You'll be in charge of the landing party. Don't get them killed." He said seriously, but everyone on the Bridge laughed, including Parker.

"Yes Sir!" Parker replied, walking into the turbolift.

"Yeah I didn't want to go down there anyway. Sounded boring." Jap sighed, and Savik ignored the man's audible thoughts. He merely waited for the away team to beam down to the planet.

It was an M-class planet, populated only with a vast variety of plant life. It was the away team's job to gather samples of certain types of plants, while cataloguing any that seemed unfamiliar. It was the best environment to test the basis of Parker's leadership.

When the party had beamed onto the planet, the view screen turned into a topographical map with dots resembling each officer. Savik watched them closely. The officers split into pairs (and one group of three) before spreading out across a field. They all seemed to work diligently.

After an hour, a small alarm went off, making Savik look up from the PADD he was working on. One of the dots was blinking red, meaning that that officer had died. "Jasper to Andra!" A frantic voice sounded, and Kria answered him.

"Kria here. Report on Ensign Mann." Kria answered, and Savik watched Jasper running away from Mann's location. Something was chasing him. Savik contacted the transporter room.

"Ensign Heath, prepare to beam up the landing party." He ordered, and turned to Kria.

"Some of these plants..." Savik heard Jasper over the comm., "they come to life... one killed Mann!"

"Heath, beam up the landing party now." Savik demanded, receiving Heath's quick affirmation and standing. He walked to Kria's station. "Contact them all and alert them of the situation. Jap, you have the conn."

Savik ran to the transporter room, and had barely broken a sweat by the time he arrived. "I can't lock onto them, sir, they're running too fast!" Heath exclaimed, and Savik watched as the man tried locking onto each person. More people would die if they wouldn't get on board soon. The dots grouped together and slowed down to a stop. Heath locked onto them, and they were beamed aboard. Savik watched them all materialize, and they were all in defensive positions before they relaxed.

"We were surrounded! Jasper exclaimed, looking shaken. "They were plants at first, but then they transformed to look like humanoids. Then they just attacked for no reason!" Savik saw that they were all injured.

"Each of you report to Sickbay. I expect a full report by the end of the day from everyone." They all nodded and walked out, except for Parker, who looked stiff again. Heath walked out with the others, so Savik could speak privately to the man. "Are you okay?" He asked, and Parker shook his head slowly, the cut on the side of his face bleeding. He didn't seem affected at all by his injuries. Savik could sense without touching the man that he was about to break down at any moment. He reached over and touched the man's bare wrist, under the sleeve, pushing calming energies into his mind. Parker closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"Thank you. Again." Parker said quietly, and Savik withdrew his hand. They both walked out of the transporter room, and off towards Sickbay.

"Do you have panic attacks after every dangerous mission?" Savik asked, and Parker nodded. "And nothing helps to relieve you?" Parker shook his head.

"Nothing except for... whatever you did." He replied, and Savik was silent after that. How did Starfleet even deem such an anxious man fit enough for his title?


	3. What are these unholy desires

After (and sometimes during) each dangerous mission, Savik made sure that Parker received some sort of mental relief from his anxiety. It was only logical. He couldn't have a member of his crew suffering under his watch. And so this continued for the next few weeks.

Savik followed Parker into his quarters, the man's posture rigid and reserved. It was always this way before they sat down on the sofa. As soon as they sat, Parker let out a breath and his hands shook as he brought them to his face. Savik put a hand on the other man's back, feeling his stiff muscles under his golden Command shirt. He slid his hand up to make skin-to-skin contact with Parker's neck, and transmitted a gentle wave of calm to him. Parker's muscles relaxed, and he took a deep breath. Savik kept his hand on the back of his neck, establishing a steady and gradual flow of positive feelings.

They were sitting close. Their knees were touching, and Parker was leaning in Savik's direction. One might have thought that the position was rather intimate... Maybe that was Savik's intention. A selfish, emotional desire to be forever closer to this man. He did not understand it.

When Savik returned to his own quarters, he meditated for six hours. He had never meditated for so long at a time in his life. By the time he finished, he felt as though he'd never started; all of those unfamiliar and unwelcome feelings regarding Parker were still present in his mind. Savik had no idea what to do. He was confused by his own mind- his MIND, which had been his most valuable asset up to this point. Now, his mentality was muddled with thoughts of his First Officer.

\---

Several officers sat on seats outside the counselor's office, Savik included. He and the counselor had decided long ago that in order to keep the crew's mental state in the best condition, each member had to check in with her once a month. From there, it would be decided how often they were to meet with her, if needed. Most of the time, the check ins only lasted a few minutes, so people often lined up to wait for their turn.

It was Savik's turn now, and he walked into the room with his hands steady at his sides. He sat down in the chair across from the counselor, Lawan Mali, who smiled at him respectfully. She was a bubbly, young human woman of Thai decent. Savik often heard other officers speak of her beauty, and even he could not deny that she had some remarkable features about her.

"How are you today, Captain?" Mali asked, crossing her legs and folding her hands on her lap. A purely observational position on her part.

"I am... well." Savik said, an answer regarding his physical state more than his mental state. Mentally, he was bothered. Very bothered.

"What's been on your mind lately? I can sense something's bothering you." Mali said, and Savik was somewhat impressed with her abilities.

"I... have been feeling something strange for a member of the crew." Savik opened up. He'd be a hypocrite if he didn't discuss his own troubling thoughts, after telling Parker many (13) times to talk about his anxieties with the counselor. He knew that this conversation was strictly confidential, so if she could help him, then there was no loss in trying.

"What kind of thing have you been feeling?" Mali asked, but Savik shook his head.

"I do not know." He answered.

"Well... are these feelings positive or negative?"

"I do not know." Savik repeated, but then he realized that that answer would be of no help to anyone, so he expanded on it. "I do not feel negatively towards this person, but the feelings I have make me feel... uncomfortable. It is not natural for me, as I have never before experienced this."

"I see." Mali said, clearly thinking carefully about the situation. "When you see this person, what's the first desire that comes to your mind? Like, when you look at them, what do you want to do?"

"Talk with them." Savik said, picturing Parker in his mind. His clean, smooth skin. His soft blond hair. His bright smile. The way his jaw would clench when he was feeling anxious. "Comfort them." He added.

"And do you feel anything physical when you see them, think of them, or when you're around them?" She asked, and Savik considered this. He recounted their previous encounters, and pictured Parker in his mind.

"My heart rate increases. My abdominal muscles flex. I feel like vomiting." Savik listed off the things as they occurred within his body. "Blood rushes to my face and below my stomach. I begin perspiring. My mouth becomes dry."

"When you have to say goodbye or leave this person, how do you feel?"

"Disappointed." Savik admitted, not breaking eye contact with Mali. "I don't want to leave."

"I see." Mali bit her lip, thinking deeply. "Meet with me again next week, and we'll talk more about this. In the meantime, I want you to do something. I want you to ask this person..."

\--

"Are you currently in a romantic or sexual relationship with someone?" Savik asked, and Parker smiled at him questioningly.

"No? Why do you ask?" Parker asked.

"As your captain it is important that I know of anything that might affect your performance." Savik replied, putting his book down. He and Parker had been reading books on the sofa for 121.49 minutes, but Savik decided it was as good of a time as any to bring up what Mali told him.

"Makes sense. But no, I'm not with anyone. Not interested in anyone right now either." Parker said, and Savik nodded. "I'm guessing that you're not in a relationship?"

"I am not." Savik answered, and Parker nodded. They both went back to reading. Savik still didn't really understand the purpose of many of Shakespeare's plays, but he began reading them because Parker suggested he do so.

He found that he'd do many things simply because of the prospect of making Parker happy. This thought almost bothered Savik.

\--

"Good evening, Captain. How are you?" Mali greeted Savik with a smile after he sat down across from her. Her hair was styled in a long, black braid that hung over her shoulder.

"I am well." Savik replied as he always did.

"And what did they say when you asked if they were in a relationship?" Mali asked.

"They said that they were not in a relationship." Savik answered simply, and Mali nodded.

"How did that make you feel?" Mali asked. 

"Nothing." Savik replied, and Mali raised her eyebrows.

"Okay, how would you feel if they said that they WERE in a relationship?" Mali asked, and Savik got an uncomfortable feeling in this stomach.

"Unpleasant." He answered, causing Mali to nod.

"Well, I hate to break it to you, but I think you like this person. Like, in a romantic and/or sexual way." Mali said, and Savik was silent. He'd never really liked anyone in a romantic way before. Was that what this was? Romantic feelings? Sexual feelings? He was suddenly very uncomfortable but very fascinated at the same time. It was quite... new.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short as hell chapter, but I wanna get shit ROLLIN'.


	4. Names Before Titles

"I'M the counselor." Lawan refuted, stabbing her fork into her casserole. "I say we need shore leave. For the good of the crew."

"We still have missions to be completed before we can take a break." Savik replied after taking a drink of his hot tea. "Perhaps we may take shore leave in a month."

"A month? That's a bit risky. Tensions are running a bit high, I've noticed." Lawan told him matter-of-factly, raising her eyebrows at him. "Even with you, with these feelings about a certain someone."

"I am not tense." Savik said, ignoring the counselor's wiggling eyebrows. Humans did have the most remarkable methods of showing expression. Suddenly, Parker sat down next to Savik with a plate of salad.

"Good evening Parker. I haven't ever seen you out here this late." Lawan said warmly, smiling over at the blond, who shrugged. Savik couldn't take his eyes off the tired look he had.

"Yeah, couldn't sleep. Figured I might as well come out here and eat something. Lucky you two are still awake." Parker said dismissively, weakly pushing his fork through a piece of lettuce.

"Well Savik and I were just discussing the prospect of shore leave. That'd be nice, wouldn't it?"

"Lawan." Savik said sternly, giving her a hard look. "In a month."

"Whatever, you're a hardass." Lawan rolled her eyes, and Savik mused that she might be the only person on the ship that could say such a thing to him without consequence. Other than Parker, of course. There were always exceptions for Parker.

They continued their meal in comfortable silence, Savik spending most of his time watching Parker. How he moved, how he looked, how he chewed his food. He didn't want to take his eyes off the man.

\--

"If I ask you something, will you answer me honestly?" Lawan asked, braiding her hair. She and Savik were sitting across from each other in the counselor's office, as they have done for several times in the past few weeks. Savik nodded, so Lawan asked, "Is Parker the one that you have these feelings for?" Savik stared at her for a long time. Was it safe to admit this? Parker was his First Officer. His commander. His friend. Would it be alright if he told Lawan of his affection for this man?

"Yes." He replied quietly, and Lawan smiled.

"I figured as such. Whenever he's around, you can't take your eyes off him. It's like he gives you life." She said warmly. "Are you gonna tell him about your feeli-"

"No." Savik said quickly, and Lawan raised her dark eyebrows at him.

"And why not? What if he feels the same way?" She asked, but Savik shook his head. "You're a touch telepath. You could just find out if he likes you without even asking."

"I would never be so invasive upon his thoughts." Savik told her, and she nodded.

"I was hoping you'd say that. But... will you ever tell him?" Lawan asked, and Savik looked down at his hands.

"Perhaps not."

\---

Parker clung tightly to Savik, his breathing uneven and hitched. Savik tried his best to calm the man, but there was only so much that he could do. They were in Parker's quarters. They had just been on a planet where the predatory creatures ripped one of the officers to shreds right before Parker's eyes. It would have attacked him next if they hadn't been beamed up. The creature came out of nowhere. They didn't even know such a thing existed. One of the crew had described as "something out of a hellish nightmare."

Savik rubbed Parker's back with one hand, and his neck with the other. He hated seeing Parker in such a state, and Vulcans did not hate anything. While he enjoyed being able to hold the man in his arms, he loathed the thought of the man being in pain.

"I'm not cut out for this job." Parker whispered, and Savik pulled away from him. "I can't do it. I can't..."

"Yes, you can." Savik told him sternly, putting a hand on the man's cheek. "You are capable of anything. Anyone would be disturbed by this mission."

"You seem fine." Parker said, looking at him with red eyes.

"We Vulcans train our minds to hamper our emotions. We still have them, but we force them away." Savik explained, and Parker sighed.

"I wish I could do that. I'm useless with my anxiety. I can't do anything without freaking out." He said, pulling away and laying down on his bed. "I'm going to sleep it off. You can leave if you want."

"You are not useless. You are my most esteemed officer, and I hold you in very high regard." Savik told him, but he was unable to see if Parker was paying attention, since the man had his back to him. He sighed minutely. Parker said that he could leave if he wanted. He did not want that. He laid down on the couch, meditating in that position for a while.

When he was satisfied, he rolled over and went to sleep.

\---

"Keep firing disrupters. Kria, contact Engineering and tell them to put more effort into their repairs. Parker, fire torpedoes." Savik listed out orders for those on the Bridge. "Jap, report."

"Things aren't looking too g-" The Andra was hit, nearly knocking everyone out of their chairs. He could hear Kria talking rapidly with Engineering. He trusted her judgement.

"Parker! Torpedoes!" Savik demanded, watching Parker's hand tremor. He stood and rushed over, firing the torpedoes himself. He rested his hand on the back of Parker's neck, bending down to be at eye level with the man. "Treev, if you cannot perform, then I will ask you to report to sickbay." He threatened, and Parker nodded. Savik straightened up, but did not remove his hand from the man's tense neck.

"We took out a good chunk of their ship, Captain. They seem to be immobilized." Jap reported, and Savik nodded. A Klingon's face appeared on the view screen, but their connection was weak.

"Can you do anything, Kria?" Savik asked, but Kria shook her head.

"It's them, Captain. We can't compensate." Kria replied, and Savik nodded.

"Should we try to help them?" Parker asked, turning to look up at him.

"They will not accept our assistance." Savik said, absently stroking his thumb against Parker's neck. "Klingons would rather die a most painful death than accept help. We must leave them. They will make their own repairs, with time."

"Back on our original course, Savi- uh, Captain?" Parker blushed slightly, and everyone on the Bridge turned to look at the two of them. Savik retrieved his hand and clasped them both behind his back.

"Yes. Everyone back to your duties." Savik ordered, and everyone turned back to their stations. He returned to his chair, relieved that nobody commented on Parker's use of his name. Nobody had done that sort of thing on the Bridge before, not even Savik's last First Officer.


	5. TELL HIM

Savik pat his hand on Parker's leg to wake him up. They had fallen asleep against each other on the couch 4.397 hours prior, and it was time to go to work. Parker called him in the middle of the night due to a nightmare, so Savik came to his quarters. They talked for a while before eventually falling asleep. Parker had his arms wrapped around one of Savik's, and his head was against his shoulder.

"Treev," Savik said, prodding Parker's leg, "it is time to wake up." Parker groaned, detaching himself from Savik.

"Sorry. Morning." Parker said as he stretched. "You can take the first shower." Savik nodded, stood up, and grabbed his clothes from the table. He'd brought a clean uniform and some toiletries, knowing that he would probably be spending the night there. He went off to Parker's bathroom for his morning routine.

\---

As they all sat silently on the Bridge, supposedly working, Savik stared at the back of his First Officer. He contemplated his predicament. The question ever stood in his mind: 'Should I tell him of my feelings for him?' He was always shut down by himself, though; he saw nothing fruitful coming from such a confession. Even if Parker was open to a relationship in the first place, Savik could not assume his sexual orientation. If he did not even know his own sexual orientation, how could he make an inference on another's? And even if Parker was open to a relationship with a male, there was little to no chance that Savik would be the top candidate.

The realization hit him like a brick. The odds were fiercely against him. He let out a small, imperceptible sigh. Or rather, he thought that it would have been imperceptible, if not for Parker turning around and raising an eyebrow at him. Savik raised his own eyebrow back, not quite knowing what that would accomplish. Suddenly, Kria's voice interrupted their eyebrowing.

"Captain, we're being hailed by a nearby Federation ship. The Polaris."

"On screen." Savik replied, shifting his eyes up to the screen as Parker turned around. A woman appeared on the screen, a kind smile on her face. "I am Captain Savik of the USS Andra. Do you require assistance?"

"Hello Captain Savik. I am Captain West of the Polaris. I'm afraid we have somewhat of an... embarrassing predicament." Captain West smiled sheepishly, and Savik raised a questioning eyebrow. "Almost all of our engineers happened to fall ill due to an unidentified disease that we encountered during a previous mission. It's all taken care of now, thanks to our medical staff. Even so, we're still suffering some damages with very few ensigns capable of maintaining reparations."

"You require our engineers." Savik said bluntly, trying to get to the point.

"I don't require anything." Captain West replied curtly. "But I do request assistance from your engineers." Savik blinked at her. Did she just contradict herself? After a moment of silence, Parker walked into her view.

"We'd be happy to beam over some engineers to assist you. How does twenty minutes sound?" Parker asked her, and she smiled more.

"Take all the time you need. We'll be here, undoubtedly." Captain West replied, her image disappearing from the screen. Parker exhaled in relief. Both he and Savik wordlessly set off to the transporter room together, while Kria sent a message to Engineering asking for volunteers.

"I do find it somewhat suspicious that all of her engineers happened to become sick." Savik commented, clasping his hands tightly behind his back as they walked. He saw Parker shrug from the corner of his eye.

"Same thing happened on the last ship I was on. The day after a peaceful mission on a new planet, almost every science officer caught the same sickness, but very few others caught it. I guess it's because they work so closely with each other." Parker explained, and Savik's mouth tightened. He made a noncommittal noise as they walked through the door of the transporter room. There were already about a dozen engineering officers ready to beam aboard the Polaris.

"Kria, alert Captain West that we are ready to start beaming volunteers aboard. I shall also accompany them." Savik said into the comm. and Kria sent an affirmation back. Parker gave him a look.

"I'm coming too, right?" He asked, and Savik raised an eyebrow at him.

"Is that necessary? You are not an engineering officer." Savik negated.

"Neither are you." Parker retorted, putting a hand on his hip.

"I was before I became captain." Savik answered smoothly, and Parker sighed. Savik suddenly realized that Parker actually wanted to go. He often forgot about humans' desires to do things even when they don't need to. Even when it doesn't necessarily affect them. Even though Savik thought that it would be better to have the second highest ranking/trustworthy officer aboard the ship (just in case something bad happened on the Polaris), he acquiesced. "Hide a phaser on your person. Be prepared in case something happens. I need you. On the Andra. I can't lose another First." Savik swallowed, hoping Parker wouldn't notice his slip up.

"Yes sir!" Parker exclaimed and went to go grab a phaser. He seemed oddly... chipper.

\---

The Andra's engineers were hard at work fixing the internal and external damages of the Polaris. Evidently, they had suffered a blow from an enemy ship, and the disease that plagued the engineers had caused them to be so confused that they only caused more damage. They were all in a quarantined section of the sickbay, still recovering. Captain West wrung her hands as she watched the Andra's officers work, and Savik gave orders where needed. West was a short, dark skinned, and nervous woman. She and Parker got along marvelously.

"Thank you so much Parker. I still have doubts, but that doesn't stop me from performing my duties." West grinned, crossing her arms.

"It's okay. I know how nerve-wracking it can be. Well, sort of." Parker said, Savik noticed him tapping his fingers against leg, something he did sometimes when he was nervous. If it made him nervous then he shouldn't talk about it, Savik thought. "Before I was assigned to the Andra, my Captain at the time was kidnapped and I had to assume her role until we finally found her across the quadrant. You could imagine what a disaster that was... but we found her. Safe and sound. And if I can manage THAT, then I'm sure you can handle being captain just fine."

"I'm sorry you all had to go through that. And... thank you. Again. I can't tell you how much you're encouraging me right now." West laughed, putting a hand on Parker's arm. Savik didn't understand how telling someone about an unfortunate event could make them feel better... although, he often didn't understand many human phenomena.

"Captain, can we get your help with this?" Ensign Pennyworth called over to Savik, and he walked over to assist her and the others. There was an issue with the wiring on several of the boards, and they couldn't figure it out. This sort of scenario, of course, was no stranger to Savik.

When he finished with the boards, West and Parker were gone. Probably off to some other part of the ship to make sure things were still going smoothly. Savik would just look around and see if he could find them... Starting with Sickbay.

\--

"As you can see, we have everything under control!" The doctor said cheerfully after Savik's inquiries about the state of the officers aboard the ship. "Vaccinations have already been administered to everyone, and we have gone through extensive sanitization procedures to ensure that the disease is long gone from the ship."

"And this is our Sickbay, whe- oh! Captain Savik, good, you're already here. I don't have to give a second tour!" West laughed, walking up to him. Parker was with her. Actually she had her arm linked around his. How... friendly. Savik schooled his expression so that it would betray his inner fuming. West blinked at him, looking worried. "You might have noticed already, but I'm half Betazoid. I suppose I should mention that sooner than later." West laughed, looking between Parker and Savik. She retrieved her arm and shoved them in her pants pockets.

"My old captain was Betazoid." Parker smiled brightly at her, and West smiled back warmly.

"It is nice to know that my father's people are... branching out. Last time I checked, many Betazoids were keeping to themselves these days." West said before changing the subject. "You might want to talk to Doctor Rais here, since I know you're eager to find out more about the disease that struck us. I can then show Captain Savik the places that I showed you." Parker nodded, and West led Savik out of Sickbay.

They walked silently for a while, aimlessly, before West asked, "So when are you going to tell him?"

"I am sure that I do not know what or whom you are referring to." Savik replied, not skipping a beat. "If you are not going to give me a tour of the Polaris, then I should further oversee my engineers."

"No, I'll give you a tour. Forgive me." West replied quietly, and they continued on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the (SUPER) late chapter!  
> And THANK YOU SO MUCH EVERYONE WHO HAS GIVEN KUDOS OR COMMENTED ON THIS STORY!!! I honestly did not expect it to get any attention at all, so I am very pleased that you all reading are... well... READING! I love the comments, I read all of them. They keep me breathing! :) Stay tuned! New chapters VERY SOON!!!


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